


Honesty

by fadesfanfic



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen, Jedi, Lycaea Archeliou, Sith, Spoilers: Chapter 3 Sith Warrior, The Force, in which characters discuss things that interest me but may not interest others
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 13:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11441805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadesfanfic/pseuds/fadesfanfic
Summary: Vette, Lycaea, and Jaesa talk about the Force and freedom. Semi a follow up to "The Most Powerful Force in the Galaxy".





	Honesty

**Author's Note:**

> If you've seen this before on tumblr, its because I posted it to my tumblr, fancyfade, while I was logged out of A03. I'm posting it here to keep it with the rest of my fanfic.

It's late when Lycaea Archeliou switches her lightsaber off for the last time today.

She's been training for hours in anticipation of her fight with Baras. She knows she can beat him – she beat Nomen Karr and Xerender, both of whom had mastered him before – but she also knows he's going to have a card up his sleeve. He always does. So practice it is.

Not to mention, she's still getting used to her new legs. When Draagh collapsed the cave on her, she'd had to cut her own legs off to finish crawling out. The new prosthetics almost feel like her own by now. But not quite. 

She exits the cargo hold and moves to the main room in the Fury, which to her surprise, still has the light on. Vette and Jaesa are curled up on the couch together, watching a holovid.

Vette pauses it when she sees Lycaea come in.

“Thought you'd never come out,” she says, hopping off the couch.

Lycaea shrugs. “You know me. I like to practice.”

Jaesa stretches out now that a spot's cleared up and kicks her legs up. “We were about to turn in,” she says. “There's only so many videos of gizka hopping down stairs one can watch.”

“Hopping up,” Vette corrects her. “It's easy to hop down stairs. Hopping up is hard if their legs aren't long enough.” 

Jaesa smiles slightly. There's something about the way she looks at Vette that makes Lycaea wonder if things are changing between them. But she figures it'd be weird to ask. 

“I'm not tired,” Lycaea says.

Vette grins and casts a look at Jaesa. “Me either.”

Jaesa sighs. After a second, she says “All right, what do you have in mind?” 

Vette shrugs. “I dunno. Talking. Eating. Anything. All three of us rarely get the opportunity to hang around without all the die-hard Imps.”

Lycaea grabs a bag of lunch meat from the mini-fridge and starts passing it around, and Vette sits back down on the couch again. Lycaea sits on the other side of Jaesa. The stark blue light of the holo has been shut off, leaving only the dim red lights of the Fury. 

Lycaea just listens to the breathing of her friends for a little. It's good to get out of that sparring room. Reminds her what there is to care about that's not revenge. 

Living for revenge sure works, but it can eat you up inside. 

Lycaea can sense Vette preparing herself to speak a couple times, but she keeps stopping. Finally, she says, “So how is it?”

It takes Lycaea a minute to realize what Vette's talking about. “My lightsaber?” she asks.

Vette nods.

A couple months ago, Jaesa had convinced Lycaea to make a new lightsaber. One that didn't belong to a dead Sith Lord, but was hers. Only. Jaesa and Vette had obtained a light purple and blue crystal, which Vette informed her wasn't obtained 100 percent legally. 

“It's good,” Lycaea says. She holds the hilt in her hand. It's big – a foot long, not counting the metal handguards. It has weight to it, like a weapon should. “The blade's a little longer than my old one, but that's a good thing. More reach.” 

“It's because of the crystal,” Jaesa says.

Vette cuts in. “Yeah, when we were looking around, Jaesa said that one just sensed like you. You know, like it was custom made for you even though it wasn't.” 

Lycaea nods. She looks to Jaesa. “Is that how your crystal is?” 

Jaesa thinks for a moment before responding. “Sort of,” she says. “Some Jedi padawans go to Ilum to find their crystals, and find the one that 'feels' right. Since my training took place in a relatively short span, it was accelerated. Nomen Karr provided the materials I needed for my lightsaber.” She touches her hand to her lightsaber on her belt. “But it's become mine. And it's fitting, isn't it? Yellow is neither a color associated with Jedi or Sith.” 

Jaesa stares forwards, eyebrows knitting in thought. Normally, it's very hard to read the emotions on her face. But maybe perhaps she can let her guard around the “non-die-hard-Imperials”, same as Vette.

“Pierce asked me about how I felt switching sides,” Jaesa says slowly. “I assumed he was trying to trip me up after catching us talking about the light side Sith but – either way. He wanted to know how it felt, if it was like being 'free', to be encouraged to express emotion on the field of battle for the first time in years.” 

“Well I assume it would be for him,” Vette says. “He'd make a terrible Jedi. No offense.”

“He's not here, you don't have to say 'no offense',” Lycaea says. 

Vette shrugs. 

Jaesa continues, “I didn't know what to tell him. I'm not really – I don't fight like other Sith fight.” She keeps her words vague in case there are eavesdroppers. But Lycaea knows what she means. She still draws on the light side of the Force.

“Ask Lycaea, she would know!” Vette says. 

Lycaea shakes her head. “No I wouldn't.” 

Jaesa looks at her.

Lycaea shrugs. “The Sith, the Jedi... neither one of them has it right.” For a minute she wonders if she should be saying such 'treasonous' things in a ship with die-hard Imperials, but really, she doesn't care. What's the point of being Sith if you can't say what you want?

“Well I know the Sith doesn't have it right,” Vette says. “What about the Jedi?”

“I'm not talking about morality,” Lycaea says. “I'm talking about emotion. When we're kids, we hear that the Jedi are hypocritical moralists who are practically like droids. You know? They don't feel anything, and we do. But really, the Sith aren't any more free to emote than the Jedi.”

Vette waits, listening.

“Interesting perspective from a Sith,” Jaesa says. 

Lycaea grins. “I like to switch it up.” She narrows her eyes and continues. “But think about it. Peace is a lie, there's only passion. But most of the passions you hear about in the Sith Academy are anger, hatred, or fear. There's no room for weakness.”

“I thought you hated weakness,” Vette says. “You know, not like... for other people, but for yourself.”

“I do,” Lycaea says quickly. “And there's a reason for that. It's because if you show weakness around Sith, they'll eat you alive. I learned to make my face a mask before I learned to write.” 

“Me too,” Vette says softly.

Lycaea nods seriously. She waits for Vette to keep talking, but when she doesn't she goes on. “Not being able to express your emotion because it will make you 'fall to the darkside', and not being able to express anything except the right ones because it will make you look weak are both bad options. Either way, you're acting like someone else's idea of how you should. 'The Force shall free me', but the Empire and other Sith sure as hell won't.”

“So everything sucks?” Vette asks.

“It doesn't have to,” Jaesa says quickly. Quietly. Lycaea can feel her in the Force, sensing out to the other rooms, seeing if the other crew members are asleep or not. “I can see from a certain perspective how one could find peace in the Jedi code. You obviously can't shut off your emotions, but you can prevent them from overwhelming you. You can make decisions based on what is best for the people around you, instead of letting worldly attachments cloud your judgment.

“And you're a Sith, but you aren't pointlessly cruel. When there are hard decisions to be made, you make the right ones, even though you don't try to disconnect yourself from your emotions. I remember you speaking of drawing on your hate. You said being able to finally hate the people who treated you wrong was freeing.” 

“You're right, but you're also wrong. I do hate lots of people. And I do try to make the least harmful decisions,” Lycaea sighs. “But I'm also - ” she instantly stops herself. Talking about feelings that are hers and not hypothetical other people's is always hard. There's this low hum in the back of her head that it will be used against her later.

“But I'm also definitely disconnected from some... emotions,” she admits finally. She doesn't say what those are. That would involve more talking about it.

Jaesa take Lycaea's hand gently. It feels nice. 

“I could've told you that,” Vette says.

Lycaea looks to Vette.

“You know,” Vette says. “You're always talking shit. But I don't think I've ever heard you talk about being afraid ever. And instead of ever saying you like or love people, you're like 'I enjoy your company' or 'I'd be sad if something happened to you'.” She passably mimics Lycaea's inflections. “Nothing that would admit to people how much you care.”

Lycaea presses her lips together. She hadn't realized she was that obvious.

“So the Dark Side works for you,” Vette said. “That's cool. But you don't have to act like you don't give a shit or like you're the scariest thing in the room all the time. You can let yourself chill.”

“I am the scariest thing in the room.”

Vette reaches over Jaesa and flicks Lycaea. “Dork,” she says.

Lycaea decides to try to be serious. “Even if I did decide to try to let my guard down because it would be - ” she rolls her eyes – “less emotionally-constipated or whatever, that wouldn't take down all the other Sith's guards. They'd just perceive it as a weakness they could exploit.”

Jaesa gives Lycaea's hand a squeeze. 

“You're right,” Vette says. “But we won't.”

Lycaea waits. She knows it's probably true. Vette is one of the first real friends she's had, ever. But it still feels weird.

She stands up. “I'm going to try to get some sleep,” she says.

Vette nods. As Lycaea's leaving, she says “And hey, Lycaea.”

Lycaea turns to look over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“I like spending time with you too,” she says and winks.

Lycaea smiles. She remembers Vette agreeing with her 'mask' comments. 

It's probably just as hard for Vette to let her guard down as it is for her.


End file.
